Ouch that comment still stings..........

The comment that is still stinging is " It's time to put your big girl panties on and get over it." Yep, I have some tough chicks in my circle of life. And for the record I was wearing panties!! (thought I better interject that before some goof comments about it) Alright let me back up and give you the history of why that comment was made. Saturday I got a call from the girls asking if there was anyway I could throw on my swim suit ,grab a bottle of wine and meet over at Judy's pool. Tough choice - stay home to cook hubby dinner and clean house OR go meet the girls for a meeting of the opinions in the pool with wine. You guessed it - I was at Judy's pool within the hour. One of the girls in our posse was in town from California for a surprise visit. She needed girl time to get over a " need space" comment that she made to the guy she was seeing. Apparently he wasn't to keen on the comment and needless to say she is single again. Not to worry cause he was a putts. Of course with the wine flowing and that many women together our conversation went from family,friends, politics, careers to MEN. The men discussion was humorous at first because we were talking about the putts in California but then we began to discuss each others significant man and that's when the comment got made. We were each saying the good about the man in our life and then their short coming. The good, the bad, and the ugly. When I said that the bad about my husband was he isn't affectionate enough and doesn't compliment me and the reminder about his major screw up last year I was told " put your big girl panties on and get over it." The girls all agreed that my husband has many good qualities and he is doing what is needed to correct his screw up last year. They did make some valid points like - he puts no expectations on me (hence not required to cook or clean if I don't want), he is easy going about me starting projects that he ends up having to finish, he has no problem with my last minute get together and volunteering him to cook, he is not jealous of my relationships with other people and doesn't feel neglected, and he definitely spoils me with killing bugs when I scream, cleaning the kitty box and hairballs cause I have a weak tummy and bandaging any wound cause I don't handle blood. I was also reminded that no one person can meet all of our needs. I then said does that mean we can have one on the side to meet the needs the other doesn't and after they stopped laughing they splashed me. Judy says " good Lord I don't want the one I have and you want two?" Funny how spending the afternoon with the girls has me really taking a more realistic look at my expectations. This has me wondering - do we have to sell ourselves short in some areas to gain in other areas? How do we figure out what is a "deal breaker" and what we can get by with? How do we get our needs meet that the our mates are not able to meet? Am I just settling or am I just wanting it all?