Working for the weekend..........

Got comfortable flannels, tank top, and fuzzy socks on - YES
Doors locked and answering machine turned on - YES
Dog walked, fed, and belly rubbed - YES
Large glass of wine poured for me - YES

Ahhhh, this week is finally over and I have made it to the weekend. Wow, this week bordered painful at times. So, let's recap what made this a long week that is requiring a rather large glass of wine to assist in me relaxing.

• Every time I turned on the TV or radio I was forced to listen to information about the idiotic stimulus proposals. I am so angry with our government right now I can not even express it in words. (well at least in words that aren't four letters)
• Hubby got word he is laid off as of Monday for at least three weeks. Ah yes that means about $250 less in the budget weekly.
• On a good note the company I work for is not laying off BUT they did announce that they have put a freeze on our pay increase that would be taking effect in April. ( Funny but they didn't mention if managements bonus was froze)
• Found out that someone I love has been struggling with finances so badly that they were having a hard time feeding their children. As long as I have something to give I will so I went to the grocery store after I heard about this need and bought them enough food for a week. The world can be cruel so we need to take care of family and friends.
• Waited all week for tax documents to come in the mail so I can make appointment with tax man. No, I am not in a hurry to find out how much I have to pay but I am in a hurry to figure out how much I need to save by the 15th at midnight. By the way I am still waiting for them to come.
• I have misplaced my favorite gloves! For those who know me - you know how misplacing anything drives me crazy. Has anyone seen my black soft very warm gloves?
• Not only did I misplace my gloves but I lost my keys on Thursday morning. Well, I didn't really lose them but I couldn't find them for a few hours. Who would have thought my keys could hide so well in the liner of my tote bag. Yup, my tote bag is either going to need a sew job or will need to be retired.

I would say that is enough examples of why I am grateful for the weekend to be here! So, was your week as tough as mine?

Soon......

Soon sweetheart everything will be red and love will be in the air. For those of you who don't know me very well -I am a hopelessly romantic sap on Valentine's Day. I know the way I have described myself in past post wouldn't lead you to believe I could have such a romantic heart but I do. Please don't misunderstand what I mean by romantic though cause a dozen roses being bought on Valentine's Day for me does not qualify. Anyone can do the typical way overspend buying flowers on V-Day with very little thought involved. It will take much more creativity to win me for V-Day. Now before you go thinking that I think the day is all about what a man can do for a woman please note some of the romantic gestures I have done or suggested to others (as you will notice I once again am not admitting to what I have done:

• Served dinner picnic style on a blanket in the living room next to the fireplace. (please note that dessert should be strawberries to dip in warm chocolate sauce or whip cream)
• Filled his car completely with red balloons and left a rather naughty detailed note of how our evening would end.
• Left instructions on door to follow chocolate foiled hearts till they lead him to my heart. ( remember to buy a few bags of these chocolates if your bedroom is on the second floor)
• Went and bought tons of candles ( bags of tea light candles is a less expensive route to go and they burn long enough) Also stop by floral shop and buy bag of rose pedals. Now timing on this one is important! Run a steaming hot bath and then add rose petals to the water. Next strategically start setting up candles all along the path from the door to the bathroom and to the bedroom. Light the candles, turn off the circuit breaker so he can't use any other light but the candles to find you. You can use battery operated device for sexy music to be playing while you are waiting for your sweetheart in the tub.
• This one is a bit sassy but I say you only go around once so take a chance. ( I was also only in my twenties then) You will need a long coat, hot red Valentine lingerie, extremely sexy high heels , red lipstick, and good heat in your car. (well we live where it fricking freezing in February) Put on the items I listed and drive carefully to wear sweetheart is. If sweetie is in crowded environment ask to be walked out to the car or have them come out to the car. Once you have them let them feast their eyes on what is waiting for them when they come home. Then right before you leave hand them what you expect to see them in when you meet.
• I have even gone as far bribing a waiter (only $10) to get me the recipe of a dish my sweetheart loved to eat at this restaurant so I could duplicate it for a Valentine dinner.

So as you can see I am definitely willing to give as good as I get with romantic gestures. Oh, and for you manly men you will be happy to know the idea of coupons for:

• us to watch sports with you all day without asking questions and making sure you have a beer available.
• one free day of no chores or nagging or honey do list
• one free do it the way you want it only (you get the drift - right?)

I told you I was a sap and now I have given you a post to prove it! And if you want to know something really sappy about me I still watch the movie "Pretty Woman" every time I am flipping channels and find it on and yes I also own the movie " The Notebook" and cry when I watch it.

The point of writing this now instead of on Valentine's Day is so you have time to plan something romantic and special. I also don't want any comment's about being alone on V-Day because you can always go a different direction and make a wonderful V-Day with just children or a friend. Just plan making homemade heart shaped pizza's, make red finger Jello hearts, and rent a movie. Like I say it's all up to you to have fun......

PS - I have a new kicking azz shade of red nail polish I got on clearance that I am saving for my toes for V-Day!

Confessions..........

I am again here to confess the fact I lack the ability to think before I speak again. God help me!! After I finished my post this morning and was wandering around the house attempting to convince myself to get busy cleaning the phone rang. Looking down at caller ID I see it is my mom which causes a small sigh but I take my chances and answer it. After listening to her chatter on about a bit of this and a bit of that she finally gets around to asking if I want to go to the grocery store and Wally world with her. YIKES ( please note that kind of trip can be a all day affair) I explained to her no I best stay home and get some house work done. Since my mom has a hard time excepting no she ask two more times before telling me she is hanging up now since I am so crabby. Yippee the call has only last 19 minutes and I think I am off the hook. About ten minutes later again the phone rings and again I sigh but answer another call from mom. First mistake was not letting it go to voicemail! My mom proceeds to ask are you sure you don't want to go shopping. Are you saying no and being crabby because you don't really have the money and you just don't want to tell me ? You know I will pay if you need me too. I explain in a calm voice no mom the money is not the issue causing me to be crabby. Once again she doesn't really hear me and she states "well you wouldn't be honest with me if that was the reason anyway, you never feel like you can share with me." And here is the part where I should have thought before I spoke but no my mom had struck a nerve with the whole I am not really honest with her statement. So, before I could stop myself I blurt out - Mom if you want the honest reason why I am crabby is because I haven't gotten any in weeks cause the hubby is depressed about being laid off and it is to dang cold in this house to take a cold shower. And furthermore I am out of double A batteries. Omg, I couldn't believe I just said that out loud and to my mother! A silence came over the phone after that for about a minute before she says to me " well I guess I can't really help out with that. And then she says what do you need batteries for?" Instead of answering that question I am going to pick my mom up in ten minutes to go shopping.............

Think first........

When will I ever learn to think before I speak?! Yesterday while I was in the kitchen cutting up veggies my husband walks in with the daily pile of mail which consist of bill after bill and says "Well another official letter from ___ (car industry) and I am on layoff for week number seven" This is the part were I should have kept my mouth shut and thought about what to say instead of being insensitive to how bad this must make hubby feel. This is also when I should have remembered my word "gratitude" cause we are at least drawing $200.00 in unemployment during this time. BUT NO instead of thinking first I just immediately starting spurting off sentences like "you are going to have to find a different job" "how are we ever going to get out of debt" " why isn't the company calling you back to work since you are contracted so you get paid less and this saves the company money" "I am going to have to get a second job to keep up"
As soon as I overreacted I immediately wanted to take it back but by the look on my husbands face the damage was already done. The look of defeat and depression on his face just broke my heart. I said I am sorry and I know its not your fault and I know you want to be working but I don't think it helped much. Damn it I have got to learn to stop going into panic mode and reacting when ever a money issue arises. Why do I go from zero to one hundred on the anxiety scale when it comes to money? Our mortgage is up to date and all of the minimums have been paid on the other bills. Well except the hospital bills. They believe I should be giving them two hundred a month and I can only allocate fifty at this time. Seriously I need to be so grateful that we are doing as well as we are. How do I get past this constant money fear and live in the moment of now where we are alright? Sometimes late at night I get these money anxiety moments and I try to think of the worst situation and then try to set a plan for it. How crazy is that - planning for something that hasn't even happen and may never happen. I am going to just have to keep praying for peace of mind and faith.............

No winter wonderland over here....

Even Romeo is pondering if it is really worth enduring this weather to venture out to play!

No building a snowman in the meadow and no walking in a winter wonderland over here. Plenty of shoveling though. According to the weather segment on the news we have received 14 inches of snow in the last three days. The bearer of bad news weatherman has said more snow and even colder temperatures coming next week. Weather like this reminds me why my grandpa told me not to marry a yankee - cause you will get stuck living in the north where is it so cold even the bears go hide till spring.

PS - I will have to post a picture of my bad boy Romeo in one of his winter coats he has. His red Wisconsin badge coat is my favorite.

Sanity Safe Words.

Acceptance and gratitude are going to be my sanity safe words. The plan is every time I get overwhelmed or negative or feel the anxiety rising I need to remind myself of those words. The term "safe word" is used in some forms of adult entertainment with bondage so in my goofy play on words since I hold myself in bondage with my mind I decided it fit. No, do not over think that last sentence and start assuming things! And let's just to get one thing straight I would not be the one in the bondage! lol Wow, how did I end up on this subject?
Can you believe it has taken me almost forty years to realize that accepting is not the same as settling? I am so busy worrying about moving forward that I forget to accept where I am now. (that means enjoying the moment is side stepped as well) I don't remember to just live in the moment and not worry about my next move. I seem to worry way to much that I will be just "settling" if I am not plotting my future moves. My desire to strive for perfection has crushed my ability to accept and live in the moment. Please take note I didn't say material wealth or worldly accomplishments I said perfection. Interesting that I strive for something that is unattainable. Any way before some one suggests I call Doctor Phil or check in for "observation" at my local mental ward I better get to my point. I think the point I originally was trying to make before I wandered off in different directions is I have set a goal for myself to really attempt to start accepting where I am in life and have gratitude for what I do have. I know that sounds easy to some people who can just live in the moment but it is really going to be a challenge for me. One big challenge I face with this new plan is just having gratitude for my job and not worrying about it being eliminated and what will my back up plan be. A few years back I wouldn't have dreamed of wasting so much time worrying and over thinking. I wish I could figure out exactly why I have become this way. There isn't one particular event that I can point to and say yes that caused it. Maybe just the combination of devastating events that I was showered with created this yucky worry wart I am now trying to fix. What ever the reason may be I can at least say I accept that I am currently this way and grateful it isn't worse and I will be working on correcting this imperfection....... ( what a crock of bull sh!#)lol

Temporary Reprieve..........

During this temporary reprieve from life being exceptionally demanding I simply want to state I hope you and your family had a safe and joyous holiday season. Time has not permitted for me to post lately but I am working on changing that. As part of my new routine I am creating for myself I am actually going to set aside time to write. I will have to alternate my writing between here and my book but that will work. I will have to save the whole new routine agenda for a another post. There are numerous subjects I have piling up in my head and on scribble notes I need to post. Here are some of the thoughts floating in my head I want to take time to express here soon:

• The ever so dramatic dynamics of spending time with my family. ( believe it or not hubby is not part of the drama at all )


• New routine for mental well being.


• The absolutely horrible acts of the bias media against Israel. Why is it people cry about Israel using too much force but think nothing of what Israel has had to suffer through.


• Obama's never ending change of plan tactics.


• Gotta comment on hubby and his recent change of heart. Not sure what happen but I am loving the change.


• Must comment on me attempting to work on just staying quiet and not voicing my opinion about things that are out of my control to change. Of course I am not talking about here cause hell I gotta share it somewhere or I will explode.


• Must tell you very funny beauty treatment gone wrong. Well I can say it is funny now but it wasn't at the time. Oh don't worry none of my toes fell off.


• Definitely need to post that it has been a year today I quit smoking. Can you believe I still miss it some days?


• Now that I have a year of no smoking under my belt I must now begin my lose weight and get fit agenda. If I am feeling sassy I will have to comment on this rather spicy exercise class I think I want to take.

Well as you can see I have so many subjects I need to share with you. I will be back soon to get started filling you in on my rambling...........