Retreat...........

Retreat is exactly what I do when I am hurting. I have learned to shut down and hide behind that emotionless wall I have created. I am not big on trusting people and it takes me a long time to let someone get really close to me so it sucks when that someone carelessly hurts me with no regard of my feelings. I am not going to go into detail right now since the wound is so recent and I am still trying to process the hurt. I just wanted to let you know I just need a little time and I will be back. ( few days, few hot baths, few sips of wine, and a few tears)

Brain Fuel needed................

The need for brain fuel is becoming a bit of a emergency. No, really I am serious! I don't know if I am thinking to hard at work, or if the fresh paint fumes from the bedroom hallway are effecting me, or if I have killed to many brain cells with my wine drinking but my ability to focus long enough to post just ain't been here. It is kinda like my get up and go - got up and left without me. But, even though I have been MIA I haven't been just slacking off. At work I have been working diligently on this rather hideous project I was given back in October that will be finishing up by the end of next month. For so long the light at the end of the tunnel has been a oncoming train at work. I am absolutely not going to complain though - because I am grateful to have a job in this economy. It is amazing and a blessing that with the size of the company I work for that we have been spared job cuts so far. We have been given notice that our yearly increase is on hold for now and will be reviewed at the end of the second quarter. Heck, as far as I am concerned if they can guarantee us a job for the year they should keep our increase. There are very few job openings in my area so to find a job I would be commuting to Milwaukee or to Chicago. Either way you looked at it - it would not be good for my road rage issues. I don't really have road rage but I do cuss at idiots that drive slow in the fast lane, idiots that pull out in front of me knowing I will have to brake for them instead of them waiting till I pass, idiots that don't use their turn signal when they are actually turning (switching lanes doesn't require a signal), idiots that don't move to the middle of the intersection when waiting to turn (hence I get stuck waiting for the light again). Yikes, maybe I do need to attend traffic class on becoming a "happy driver" Naaahhh!
Just in case your still holding your breath with me while my taxes are being prepared - you can exhale now. The taxes are completed and I am so very happy to inform you that I will not need to take out a loan to pay the IRS like last year. That's right my friends my bill isn't even four digits. Yep, you heard me correct - not even four digits! I believe a glass of wine is in order to celebrate. Oh wait the brain cells. Damn, I guess I am just going to be dumb. But don't worry I couldn't drink enough wine to make me as dumb as those yahoo democrats that are in office now. Well, before I go off on a tirade about politics and get myself all worked up I best wrap this up and go take me a bubble bath........

Me bad........

I wanna be naughty. That's right you heard me - I want to be bad! I am not sure exactly what I want to do that would make me "bad" or "naughty" but I am sure I can get ideas from some of you! No, really I have always been the responsible, reliable, supportive one that does the right thing. I seem to be surrounded by people that are the opposite so I have always ended up being their support or bailing them out which has left no time for me to act out. I have even gone as far as marrying one of those bad boys that I have had to drag over to the responsible side. He still acts up once in a while but for the most part he isn't much of a handful anymore. So, with that being said I am tired of taking care and emotionally supporting others and I am tired of being good. No, I am not planning on checking out completely or doing anything that would land me on the front page of the paper BUT I just have this overwhelming desire to be naughty. Hhhhhmmm, what to do , what to do.
What have you done bad?