Well..........

Well,well,well. Look what the dog dragged in...........ME.

Life has been very challenging lately so I had to step away from the computer for a while but I am back now with a plan. How come everybody rolls their eyes when I say I have a plan? Don't worry this plan only has me doing the work. The reason I am at the point of needing a plan is because I have taken so many of the facets of what makes me - me and buried them under this chaos of anxiety, fear, frustration, hurt and confusion. I am ready to finally say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! I am what some might call anal but I would call it organized. I organize everything including how my life should go. When things out of my control changed the organizational plan I had set in my head for my life I felt like I lost my edge and then from there I began a spiral down hill. Yes, I can admit I am a control freak but not in a bad way. lol. Is that possible?
Recently I began to really notice how unhappy (negative) I am about myself and my life. I have always held myself to unobtainable expectations but now I am punishing myself for not meeting them. I don't hold others to such a expectation (but in all honesty I do hold people to a certain standard - which is doing their very best without excuses. Poor me pity parties don't go over well with me) So, my plan is rather simple and it is something I use to do and should have been doing double when things started to spiral down.

Here is the steps of my plan:

• Start meditating again. (this goes hand in hand with praying) I have found that meditating/praying makes me feel so much better. This is one of the things I stopped doing because I thought that God held me to the same unobtainable expectation I held myself to. It's like I forgot he knows we aren't perfect and that is OK. I figured since I couldn't be the perfect person that I should be then I shouldn't bother asking God for assistance/love/forgiveness/guidance/help. He didn't turn his back on me - I turned my back on him. :(
• Taking time to absorb the cleaning and healing power that nature offers. NO, I am not talking new age! I am talking about the peaceful warm feeling you get after spending time walking along the beach or walking along a path in the woods.
• Stop being so mean and hard on myself for imperfections. In order to do this every time I am faced with a life imperfection I am going to look at myself in the third person. You know judge myself as if someone else. Stop being so tough on myself. This is not going to be easy but I am really going to try to live outside the lines I have created. Thank goodness I have a husband that knows how to do this very well so he can help me.
• Control the negative thoughts and words I speak. Everybody needs to rant, which I plan on doing, but I am not going to keep on bringing it up. I am going to get it off my chest and then move on. No, going over and over and over it.
• Stop all negative gossip and talk about anyone. Negative breeds negative and the work environment I am it is horrible. I am going to just remove myself from any of those situations as much as possible.
• Laugh more. Enjoy the quirks instead of making them a crisis. Lighten up! We only get one life so I am going to learn to enjoy it!

So, this is my plan and I am sticking to it. Can you think of anything else I need to add to this list? I am always open to listening to ideas.

PS - I will have to write in my next post about the new job I am thinking about going for.

PSS - In no way am I referring to letting up on the comments about politics!!! How could anyone really talk about Obama and not have a negative comment!!!