Sanity Safe Words.

Acceptance and gratitude are going to be my sanity safe words. The plan is every time I get overwhelmed or negative or feel the anxiety rising I need to remind myself of those words. The term "safe word" is used in some forms of adult entertainment with bondage so in my goofy play on words since I hold myself in bondage with my mind I decided it fit. No, do not over think that last sentence and start assuming things! And let's just to get one thing straight I would not be the one in the bondage! lol Wow, how did I end up on this subject?
Can you believe it has taken me almost forty years to realize that accepting is not the same as settling? I am so busy worrying about moving forward that I forget to accept where I am now. (that means enjoying the moment is side stepped as well) I don't remember to just live in the moment and not worry about my next move. I seem to worry way to much that I will be just "settling" if I am not plotting my future moves. My desire to strive for perfection has crushed my ability to accept and live in the moment. Please take note I didn't say material wealth or worldly accomplishments I said perfection. Interesting that I strive for something that is unattainable. Any way before some one suggests I call Doctor Phil or check in for "observation" at my local mental ward I better get to my point. I think the point I originally was trying to make before I wandered off in different directions is I have set a goal for myself to really attempt to start accepting where I am in life and have gratitude for what I do have. I know that sounds easy to some people who can just live in the moment but it is really going to be a challenge for me. One big challenge I face with this new plan is just having gratitude for my job and not worrying about it being eliminated and what will my back up plan be. A few years back I wouldn't have dreamed of wasting so much time worrying and over thinking. I wish I could figure out exactly why I have become this way. There isn't one particular event that I can point to and say yes that caused it. Maybe just the combination of devastating events that I was showered with created this yucky worry wart I am now trying to fix. What ever the reason may be I can at least say I accept that I am currently this way and grateful it isn't worse and I will be working on correcting this imperfection....... ( what a crock of bull sh!#)lol