Me Surrender?

Alright maybe saying to surrender to problems is a bit to much over the top for me to accept. The word surrender means :

• to yield (something) to the possession or power of another
• to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc
• to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield.

Yes, I guess I do see the word as synonym for victim. And we all know how I feel about the use of that word. Maybe I better explain - if a action occurs out of a persons control they are a victim of it and I totally understand and support them BUT if someone decides to be a victim because of things that have occured and continue to give their power up I have issues. Letting go of what has happened is terrifying because then you have address getting better but if you don't well then you live with the sorrow and anger and being powerless. Anyway instead of using the word surrender I am going with the word deal. And boy oh boy do I have a lot to deal with lately. My plan is: Deal with what I need to deal with, secretly wallow in it for short bit, then get up make a plan and walk away. If I don't deal with my own form of madness I will not move forward in my quest to better myself. I want to come through the eye of the storm (maybe bruised and skinned up) but changed and moving forward. It will be interesting to see who will still be a active part of my life as I go through this journey because not all people choice to move forward to better themselves. I will not abandon people because they don't want to move forward just because I want to but I would think they may not be as active in my life as before since I will be on the move. Hopefully they will get inspired by me moving and want to start their own journey. I decided in May 2007 that I needed to begin this journey of figuring out who I really am and what do I really want. It is a slow process and one that is not always pleasant but one that I must do so all of the broken pieces that still cling to me fall away and vanish. I have been told that everything I need to already inside of me so I guess all I need to do now is find it. Anyone got a x-ray machine I could borrow so I can make sure it's really in there?