burst that little romantic bubble

Spent some time with a friend that doesn't "have to" work. As much as I get jealous of her daily freedom to sit outside in the summer soaking up the sun or staying bundled up inside when it is snowing I don't really believe I would be comfortable doing that. Most of the time I get caught up in the romantic ideas of getting to stay home like cooking hubby meals from scratch every evening, picture perfect clean house, caring for large garden, baking him weekly sweets, having time to work on my book, and being a foster mom. Yes, those are romantic ideas to me! Probably cause I work a shit load of hours and have no time to do any of those things very well right now. Once I burst that little romantic bubble and look at the reality I realize that I don't want to be that dependant on anyone to the point that I would have no way to provide for myself if he wasn't there. I know if he divorces I get half in this state and if he died I would get it all BUT that isn't going to last my lifetime. Heck, I would be sad and be looking for a job. Hhhhmm, wonder if my friend ever worries about that. It doesn't seem to be a concern for her but who knows what really keeps her up at night. I work for the money of course but I also work for the independence it gives me. It gives me financial independence and self independence. I don't have to stay in my marriage because I am dependant on his income and I don't have to stay because I don't have the confidence or feeling of worth. Funny how having a job makes me feel trapped in some ways yet free in others. I guess to have it all I am going to need to be independently wealthy so I can do the romantic ideas of getting to stay home till they aren't fun anymore then I can hire someone else to do them for me while I go to work.