Is silence really golden?

The silence in the house is haunting and comforting at the same time. After spending the last four plus months with me the children have now gone back home. Seeing the happiness they express being with their parents makes me happy for them but there is also this nagging worry of fear that this is not over and I try to keep that hidden from everyone. I know that my worry stems from fear and trust issues but that doesn't make it any easier to handle -just easier to identify with it. I want to believe more than anything that my sister and her husband are getting their shi# together and would never go back to where they were. I guess time will help ease some of the worry. As far as the trusting issue I am not sure what will help with that. Ah yes the dreaded not trusting issue rears it's ugly head again. A time not so long ago I would have said that my sister was one of the only people in this world that I trust to tell all my deep dark secrets too. We once had this open honest relationship where we trusted each other. I haven't felt the same since all the lies about the drug use surfaced. I am working on forgiving and letting it be in the past but I am standoffish when it comes to trusting. I hate that about myself and would like to change it but it seems to be a self protecting trait that is embedded rather deep in my personality. I am not saying that if you make a mistake or tell me a white lie that I will never trust you again because I am much easier going than that. The losing of trust with me usually comes with a series of large lies or purposely hurting me for your own advantage.
This silence haunts me when I feel that emptiness caused by the children being gone and the silence comforts me by allowing me to hear my thoughts.
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